You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2010.
I am finally starting to feel rested. Which means I also should begin reading ahead for next semester.
In other news, I am excited. I found a missions conference to attend in January in my city. I’d been collecting organizations I wanted to contact, but didn’t know how to go around it. Then I started thinking about how in undergrad, we’d have these missions conferences with representatives from all kinds of organizations. So I decided to see if there were any in my area that I could crash. And lo and behold, there is, next month, and it’s free. It’s like God just dropped it in my lap. While it’ s a two-day conference, the first day I can’t go due to my work schedule, unless I can get time off, but it’s only in the evening. The next day is a full day, with 3 of the 4 speakers, plus 4 of the 5 workshops. And the choices for workshops are astonishingly numerous. Moreover, there will be 70+ mission organizations represented… How awesome is this?
I really don’t know if overseas missions is where I will end up. But I do know that I have felt called, distinctly, since I was 13. And since then, I have run from the possibility. I feel like it is finally time to consider the options and to see if this is where I should go. I’m not really telling many people in my life at the moment (odd to then be announcing it on the internet, but few people I actually know read this blog) because I really don’t know what will happen or not. And I don’t like to have people get their hopes up.
A very merry Christmas to those of you who read this little blog of mine.
Christmas has been good so far, and should continue the same. We had my brother’s family over for dinner/lunch and presents, now we are heading to their house. (With four little ones, it is easier to be at their house for longer period of times, but we have more table space.)
I’m home for the holidays and have been busier than expected. A bit of socializing, lots of Christmas baking, family time, etc. I’ve gone over a bit of Greek and need to make sure to do more. I’ve gotten some exercising in, and it feels good. Plus I’ve read five books already (none school related). And I’ve watched scads of movies.
Speaking of school, I did well enough. Two A-’s, a B+ and one A. The A was in Greek. I ended up with a 98% in the class, but I have to tell you, I’m disappointed. I only got a 96.5% on the final: I missed 3.5 points, and I cannot imagine how I missed so many. Yes, I am being a bit ridiculous, but it’s an objective subject, so the potential for perfection is certainly there.
Christmas is in two days. After Christmas, I plan on knuckling down and hopefully reading the two school books I brought home. Term begins January 10th, so I still have plenty of time.
I have a Greek final tomorrow. I haven’t studied yet. It’s 10:40am. And I’m still in my pjs, drinking coffee. I have nothing to do today except review Greek, until work tonight.
Speaking of work, I was offered a better position by my supervisors, so I’m accepting it. Next year, instead of cleaning the gym at night, I’ll be on carpet crew. I hear that it is the best cleaning job on campus, plus it’s more hours, but only on three days (instead of five). And the best part is that I don’t have to work Sundays anymore, so I can go dancing on Sundays. [Side Note: When I dance on a regular basis, I am even happier single than I usually am: all that male attention--who would need a significant other?]
Also, I was drawn from the list to be able to apply for healthcare from the state. Praise the Lord. Now I just hope I am truly eligible. Next, I plan to apply for food stamps. Here’s the thing: I used to be against state aid, feeling that you should take care of yourself. Well, here I am, at grad school, working the hours I can manage, and I can’t make enough money to feed myself and I certainly don’t have health insurance. (My folks have given me money to buy groceries every month.) I’m a hard worker; I don’t intend to be on government aid my whole life, just until I can get a bit more self-sufficient. And I’ve paid into it my whole working life.
Oh, and I’m thinking of looking into Mission organizations and perhaps applying.
My mentor recently sent me the following email. I felt like it was worth sharing because it seems so spot on.
“Allow me to let you into the psyche of a man. Some men will deny this, and many women can’t really grasp this concept, but let me try to explain men… scratch that, SINGLE men.
First, single men (from now just “men” for short) are afraid. Not afraid of commitment (like the movies and tv shows portray), or of growing up (i.e., Peter Pan syndrome), but afraid of making the wrong decision. This fear isn’t your normal rational “what if I make the wrong decision” kind of fear. No, it’s more like “If I make a decision and it’s the wrong one, my entire life will be ruined, and somebody else’s life can be ruined.” They don’t understand that life is a journey, a process, and NOT an arrow that you have to aim correctly right NOW (!) because even the slightest error in aim could totally throw the trajectory off.
Second, men are pigs. They (again, I say “they” because I’m talking about single men) are shallow. They really want a Mother Theresa in a Victoria Secret model’s body. As I said, various people (men and women) deny this, but it’s true. Now, for me, when I was single, I wanted Mother Theresa in a very different kind of body (since I don’t find extremely skinny women attractive), but the idea still applies. I wanted an ideal woman. So, being pigs, men are rarely ever satisfied with the women that they date.
Third, there is hope for men because, as they grow and mature, they become real men. We (notice the change in pronoun) start to see life as bigger than a series of decisions. We embrace the journey that is life. We recognize that women are imperfect creatures like we. We learn to love. So, there is hope. But each man takes his own time and path to get to this place. Some men never do.
Hope that helps you understand men better.”
I want a little one story rambler, with 3 bedrooms (one for me, one for my office, one for my sewing room). I want a jacuzzi-tub. I want a mid size yard, surrounded by the quintessential white, picket fence. I want a weeping willow in the corner of the yard, overhanging the fence. I want a toy poodle puppy. I want a vegetable garden out back and a beautiful flower garden out front. I want a small greenhouse where I can grow flowers and produce all year round.
I want a job/ministry I enjoy. I want friends to spend time with. I want a full life. I want time to read all the books I want to read. I want the opportunity to go dancing on a regular basis. I want a climbing partner. I want time to write the books I have kicking around in my head. I want enough money to travel every so often: Harry Potter World, DC, Ireland, England, Spain, South America, and so on.
I want the freedom to do what I want and when. I want to be a part of my niece’s lives. I want a lot of things. Will I ever get any of them?
Disclaimer: I was a little harsh toward men in my last post. I had been having a rough week… But things are better now.
Now. School is out in less than two weeks. I have a paper to finish (before tomorrow), a Code of Ethics to write, plus three finals (Biblical Theology, Ethics and Greek). The countdown is on and the workload seems doable. Which is clearly why I’m blogging, since I think I have so much free time…
I will have three weeks off school. I think this will be a welcome break. A chance to see family, friends and relax. And then it will be back to the grindstone for yet another semester.
I have been questioning what I want to do with my life recently. As in, vocation. I’ll try to blog about that sometime when I have enough time. But the ideas are plentiful.
And now… off to class, then to finish my paper before work tonight. (Oh the joys of working at night.)
Let it be known: I should be in bed.
That said, I was dancing in the parking lot on my way home after work. I haven’t been swing dancing since August, and I miss it. I miss the physical exercise; I miss the people; I miss the sensuality. I might get to go over Christmas break (here’s hoping), but now I’m worried that I’ve forgotten how to dance. And so, I must take my opportunities and practice my footwork.
I like being a free agent. I like my independence. I like doing what I want, when I want. I like not having to check in with anyone. I like being able to flirt with the men at the mall. I like taking myself on dates. I like being by myself.
I know that God said “it is not good for man to be alone,” but I’m pretty sure He actually meant men, not women. Take that as you will.
I’m going to bed.