My mentor recently sent me the following email. I felt like it was worth sharing because it seems so spot on.
“Allow me to let you into the psyche of a man. Some men will deny this, and many women can’t really grasp this concept, but let me try to explain men… scratch that, SINGLE men.
First, single men (from now just “men” for short) are afraid. Not afraid of commitment (like the movies and tv shows portray), or of growing up (i.e., Peter Pan syndrome), but afraid of making the wrong decision. This fear isn’t your normal rational “what if I make the wrong decision” kind of fear. No, it’s more like “If I make a decision and it’s the wrong one, my entire life will be ruined, and somebody else’s life can be ruined.” They don’t understand that life is a journey, a process, and NOT an arrow that you have to aim correctly right NOW (!) because even the slightest error in aim could totally throw the trajectory off.
Second, men are pigs. They (again, I say “they” because I’m talking about single men) are shallow. They really want a Mother Theresa in a Victoria Secret model’s body. As I said, various people (men and women) deny this, but it’s true. Now, for me, when I was single, I wanted Mother Theresa in a very different kind of body (since I don’t find extremely skinny women attractive), but the idea still applies. I wanted an ideal woman. So, being pigs, men are rarely ever satisfied with the women that they date.
Third, there is hope for men because, as they grow and mature, they become real men. We (notice the change in pronoun) start to see life as bigger than a series of decisions. We embrace the journey that is life. We recognize that women are imperfect creatures like we. We learn to love. So, there is hope. But each man takes his own time and path to get to this place. Some men never do.
Hope that helps you understand men better.”