I feel like a raincloud. My heart is just plain discouraged. All I wish for is the semester to be over, and thankfully, I only have two finals left.
I realized something today: I don’t feel safe with Christians, and especially not Christian men. That is something of a problem.
How can I escape this conundrum I find myself in?
And does it matter if I finish my masters? What if I never write my thesis and never get my degree? Will that hinder me in life? What if I can’t finish due to circumstances beyond my control? Do I need another useless degree?
A friend and I brainstormed today what my passions are, but we realized neither of us knows where to look for a job that would use those passions.
It’s a sad day, but maybe tomorrow will get better.
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May 5, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Stacie
I don’t know what to say about the Christian thing…. maybe it is because there are genuine Christians who don’t have it all together and those who pretend they do? But I’d just be guessing. I don’t feel safe around those who pretend they do.
The other part I can definitely relate to. I think all of my passions aren’t that marketable… you know, like baking cookies, cooking meals, making people laugh, writing encouraging things on blogs and being amazing… but you know, they can’t afford to pay us to be awesome or they’d be broke!
You’ll make it through the angst. There’s things that are guaranteed to change and things that won’t — Emotions, circumstances, bad stuff — all change. The character and goodness of God won’t. I have to cling to the latter when I’m in the angst. Love ya.