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The end has come: today I have to finish researching for my thesis. I have seven books in my room to get through. Tomorrow my mom comes and we will be packing so that I can move home on Saturday. Yikes!
Yesterday, I met with one of my profs for an hour, the one who lived in Quito, Ecuador for 13 years. He had some really great information for me, especially considering I don’t know where in the country I’ll end up. But it sounds to me as if I’ll prefer the highlands to the lowlands, long-term. Plenty of time, plenty of time… However, I do have to have some time-line in place before October so that I can book tickets. (I hear that I don’t want to wait longer than that to book.) They make you get a return ticket for your temporary work visa, so I’ll probably fly in and out of Quito.
I worry about making big steps like this… I am resistant to change, even good change that I put into effect myself. So I’ve learned that if I prepare and think about it ahead of time, it makes it easier to adjust when the time comes. With something so big, like moving to Ecuador, I want all the help/preparation I can get to ensure it’s a good decision and a good experience.
I suppose that I really ought to get a start on my day, considering it’s already 9am!! Wish me luck!
I’ve moved. I wish I didn’t get so stressed out over these things, but I do. And even though I’m settled in and unpacked, it’s such a new situation (despite being an identical apartment), that I’m still feeling it. For some reason, I decided to set up my room differently. I like how it looks, but even that “little” change is something to get used to. My roommate is, well, she’s not my old roomie (I miss you, roomie!). It will be quite the adjustment, and she’s not half as particular about things as I am, so that will be interesting. She’s also much more extroverted than I am, which can be tiring for me, especially when I am already so tired.
I sincerely hope I can find a job that will pay me enough so that I can live on my own. I desperately want to have my own space.
In other news, Jury Duty is going well. 4 out of 20 days down. Weekdays, that is.
And I have a friend coming this weekend. Not many of my friends have come visit me (although, more, I suppose, than I should expect), so I’m always excited when one does.
And finally, swing dancing last night was disappointing. But at least I went.
I’m a daydreamer.
My favourite way of dreaming lately is by looking online at jobs, apartments and pets that I can’t have, but that I’d like to think I could have in the future. It’s too soon. I have much to do before I can think about moving and settling in a job. If I can actually get a job.
It’s nearing crunch time for my 30 Before 30 list. But don’t you worry; it’s looking encouraging. As soon as school is out, I can devote more time to the remaining items. Part of me wishes I’d been taking pictures of the things that could get pictures, but I never got around to it, and it’d be silly to start now. Only one thing will require pictures, and that is my trip to Forks to pretend to be a Twilight Fan. I think my family is going to meet me there, actually, which will be nice, since that’s where we went almost every year on family camping trips. Before it turned into Twilight. I haven’t been there since.
It’s also almost time to move apartments, which they will make me do so that they can clean the carpets in this apartment this summer. I dread moving. As in, I dread packing. I’m trying not to think about it, but every time I do, I consider the practicality of just chucking all of my possessions. Books? Clothes? Craft supplies? Who needs them? Here is the plan, though: I am not going to unpack everything this summer. Only what I need, and the rest can stay in boxes. That way if I do get to move at the end of the summer, to my own apartment, it won’t feel so daunting. (Okay, that’s a lie. It will still feel just as daunting.) I might have to have my mom come and help. I’m that pathetic.
Well. I suppose that procrastinating any further will just set me up for some sort of failure. Time to start my day and hit the books.
I think that whenever I get anxious about life, I start daydreaming about new adventures. It’s my coping mechanism. So I think about where I could move, what I could do instead, what drastic changes I could make. And I’m pretty sure that the Midwest always seems like a good idea.
If I moved to Duluth, MN, I could find a one bedroom apartment for in between $500-$600. And I’m sure I could easily find a job. The biggest attraction, naturally, being the bearded, flannel plaid wearing, ice fishing men. (They are there; don’t deny it.)
If I moved to Deerfield, IL, I could attend TEDS, going further into debt, but at a much more academically inclined school. (I’ve considered them for a ThM, if I should ever get one.)
Or sometimes I consider going back into Nursing. I could do that here, or nearly anywhere. But I don’t think I want to be a nurse so much as I want to know I can support myself.
A year isn’t much time. And that’s when I’ll be done with my MABS. I like the life I’m building here; I’d like to stay when I’m done. But I suppose a lot just depends on what God throws my way.
I have one final left of the semester. It’s tomorrow. But it’s also an experiential, group, open-note final. So I’m not really worried. I know I aced Greek, I think I did okay with 1 Corinthians, but it’s anyone’s guess for Reformation/Post-Ref Theology (and my guess is not great).
I have brainstormed a dozen ways for the school to have not laid off my favourite staff member. Not that they’re asking me, but they should.
I got to hang out with one of my schoolmates today for the first time and really enjoyed it. I wonder why these things always happen at the end of something instead of the beginning?
If you want to help me pack/move next week/weekend, let me know. ha. I can’t lift anything (more than 15lbs), so it will be interesting. My folks are coming down next Thursday for the weekend (primarily to move me on Saturday), but I’m hoping that the kindness of others will compel them to help, also.
I am going to resolve to embrace the idea of love in my life.
I can be brave. Really.
There are 11 days left until I move. My parents will get home on Tuesday, which is terrific, because I am hopeless at packing and need my mom’s help. Next weekend, all day Friday and through Saturday evening, I am watching my nieces so my brother and sister-in-law get to have a night to themselves. My last Sunday home, I am throwing myself a “goodbye party” at a dance I like to go to. My plan was to dissuade anyone from trying to throw an actual party (I had a few inquiries). I figure if people want to come, they can, and either way it doesn’t make a lot of difference to me.
I’ve been going back and forth between feeling really good about my move and really sad about leaving everyone behind. I found a couple of swing dances to check out when I get to my new city, and I think that will help. Plus I have at least a couple of friends in the area who are already looking forward to seeing me.
Finances are, of course, a huge concern to me. If you think of it, include that in your prayers for my move and transition to grad school. I am confident that God will provide; I just need to rest in Him instead of worrying about it.
It won’t be long now, and I’ll be starting a whole new chapter in my life.