I was chatting with someone last night, and they mentioned making a video for one of their friends to encourage said friend to allow love into her life.  The summary was that “she needs to man up and let love in” (although I am sure the video did not have those particular words in it).  Apparently there is a boy who likes her, that she likes back, but she is too afraid to let anything happen.  And the problem with this is that if she is not willing to take the plunge, ever, she will end up alone her entire life, which she does not want.

How is it that something we are so created for, we are so broken in?  God created us with the purpose of relationship.  It is clear throughout the entire Bible that we are not intended to go through life alone.  And this does not just apply for romantic relationships.  I believe that hesitancy in that realm generally will transfer over to friend relationships.  In the end, intimacy is intimacy, and if you are afraid of it, this problem is generally not held to only romantically inclined relationships.  (I think the difference is that you’re not required to be as vulnerable with a friendship as with a romantic relationship.)

Eight years ago, for my birthday, one of my dear friends gave me an empty journal she had decorated for me with pictures, sayings and so on.  It’s the journal that I use to record special occasions, significant verses, quotes, poems, etc.  On the first page, she wrote me a letter that I’ve read several times over throughout the years.  Part of what she wrote is, “Look to God for perfection, not people.  But never cease to believe that there is good in them.  Never lose faith in the possibility that whoever you met yesterday could be a blessing today and a lasting friend tomorrow. ….  Find your confidence in God alone.  But remember, He has not made you to be alone, rather, He has made you for fellowship.  No man is an island!  Love without reserve.  That is what we are made for!  We were made to reflect God.  And God is a God of unconditional-free-love.”

What she wrote is true, and it represents a life-long struggle for me.

Genesis 2: 18a “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.'”  And we can take this to only refer to marriage, but as Adam was the only human around at the time, I think it speaks far more to the relational aspect for which God created us.  We are meant to be in relation with those around us, to be vulnerable, to be real, to be engaged with emotions, faith, life.  None of us should walk through life alone.  However, there is, in my opinion, a greater intimacy that you can have in marriage.  Two becoming one is not something that happens in friendships.

Clearly, so clearly, this is something God is working on in my life…  In just the past month, I am amazed at how much it has come up.  And I am trying my best to listen and to learn.

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