Watch this video: Viva La Vida, by Coldplay.  It’s brilliant.

I had some friends from back home stop by for breakfast on their way to Cali.  We had cinnamon apple pancakes with Canadian maple syrup (ohmygosh so good) and bacon.  And it was lovely to make food and eat and talk with friends I love.  But, when they left, it was a reminder of the huge hole I have in my life where I live now.  When I visit my old home, being with my friends is normal, and while I am sad to leave, it isn’t the same feeling as when they visit me here and then leave.  When they visit here, it’s like: Oh, this is what life could be like for me.

But it’s not what life is like.  Yet.

I’m still lonely.  I want people in my life who want me in their lives.  Because everyone who wants me lives too far away for it to be reality.  However, I’m determined to change this.  I’m determined to be more outgoing (um) and friendly (uh) and willing to put  myself out there (oh my).  It’s hard for me to pursue friendship; I have to talk myself into it every time.

So, I’ll start now: Want to be friends?