I never knew how many people disliked me until recently.  Apparently everyone who has never (or only barely) talked to me thinks I’m a jerk (potential exaggeration as some of those people don’t know I exist).  I’m not sure how to remedy that because I’m not sure where their ideas come from, as they can’t come from actually knowing me.  Some of it is from the friend who dumped me last year and defamed me to the entire campus.  Some feels entirely random.  All feels like a complete attack on who I am as a person.

I’m trying to not let it bother me, but hearing that some of my friends have been asked why they’re friends with me and that multiple people advised my roomie against moving in with me (fyi we get along great) only serves me to make me feel quite vulnerable.  I can pass it off in public, pretend I don’t care, but when I get alone, it eats at me.

What is so wrong with who I am?  Why on a Christian campus can’t anyone take the time to get to know me and hear my heart before judging me?  And what on earth have I done that is so terrible?  Other than not being a conservative complementarian.

And who are these people?  Are they nice to my face and terrible to me behind my back?  Am I being duped?  Do I have genuine friends on this campus?

I can’t give up on not caring because that’s likely the problem in the first place.  But what am I to do?  Go up to each person and ask them to have coffee with me and hope that, one by one, they will realize I’m not a terrible person?

People shouldn’t be like this to each other.  Especially not Christians.

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