Yesterday I had one of those emotionally ridiculous days where my emotions were everywhere.  I skipped Hebrew (cried instead), then planned to go to Greek, take the quiz, leave and have a classmate turn in my assignment for me.  Well.  That is what ended up happening, but not quite as I planned.

My Greek prof and classmates tease me because I always finish my quizzes first.  But I never try to; it just happens.  And while this is somewhat frustrating (why get teased for being good at something?), it doesn’t actually bother me.  The prof teases me because he teases students he likes.  I suspect many of the men tease me because they feel insecure.  (Which plays on my insecurities, but that is another matter.)

Yesterday was unfortunately not the day for me to be teased…  When my professor handed out the quizzes, he skipped me, and as he walked to the front, he casually asked if he missed anyone.  I think that’s when I snapped.  I replied, “It’s okay. I don’t need to take the quiz; my grade is fine without it.  So suck on that.”  Yes, yes I did.  And you can read into that all the implications to the rest of the class…  But I got my quiz and for once, actually determined to be the first person done, even though I’d had a delayed start.  I don’t know that I’ve ever taken a quiz so quickly.  And finishing first,  I grabbed my bag, slapped my quiz on the front table, and strode to the door saying, “Suck. On. That.” And then I walked out.

Yikes.  I was pretty embarrassed at myself.  I sent my professor an apology email during class time, and got a gracious and thoughtful reply:  “I felt badly that my lame joking around touched such a raw nerve today in you.  My feeling aren’t hurt, don’t worry.  I — and I think I can speak for the whole class — want you to know we’re having hopeful and prayerful thoughts for you.  Again, you don’t need to worry about a thing — you are loved, respected, cared-for, and valued by us all (and especially me).  If you need to chat with someone, I know my door and many other doors around here are open for you.”

I also got texts from several classmates, one stopped by and another emailed to check on me.  I spent the rest of the day with friends, decompressing.  I suppose the nice part about having an emotional freakout is that it seems that I do have friends who care about me?

I have got to get myself evened out, though.  I’m supposed to be an adult.  Right?  I won’t even tell you the “silly” little thing this all stemmed from…  Okay, I will.  Someone made a comment in the morning about how I couldn’t say anything about marriage because I wasn’t married.  Who knew that would hit me so hard?

PS Really. One of these days I’ll get back to normal scheduling for my blog and talking about interesting things instead of my emotional roller coaster rides.

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