A quick note before what I really want to talk about: the problem with working at being more friendly and open is that people think it means you want them around…  Now, while that is sometimes true, often I am merely interested in getting my homework done, and as two thirds of my classes are language classes, I frequently need a lot of space. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve come to the cafe and been pushed out of my own space by people taking over, so that I, who was there first, who picked the exact table I wanted, had to move.  I just want to work in peace.

Onto the real topic, now that I’ve displayed my selfishness for the world to see.  I’m not sure that I ever articulate my decision making process very well, either in real life or in my online life.  But my decisions are completely dependent on what I perceive the will of God to be for my life…  So, if I sense He is pushing me in one direction or the other, that is how I make my decisions.  Sometimes we argue about it, sometimes I try to make other decisions, but always, always He is persistent and always I end up following His design, instead of my own.

Most recently, I have felt as though God is telling me to switch into the MDiv TS program.  I have been waffling; I have been pushing it off.  But I’m finally giving in.  The problem is that I have no clear sense that I will actually finish this degree (whereas with the MABS I knew I would finish).  So why would God ask me to switch into a program I may or may not finish?  I have no idea.  But okay. If that’s what He wants, then I’ll do it.

In an unrelated note, World Next Door is hiring a Communications Coordinator.  I am sorely tempted to apply, as it looks like it’s right up my alley and would be work I would love to do.  But I can’t see myself picking up and moving right now.  I don’t know!  The likelihood is that I wouldn’t get the job anyway, so perhaps there is no harm in applying?  Or perhaps I should not bother?  But what if I did apply and did get offered the job?  Could I make that decision wisely at this point in my life?  What of my education?  And so on.

[Update: I decided to not apply nor to tempt myself to apply. I know that God has me here, so there’s no point in daydreaming about moving until He says to do so.]