I should be in bed, instead of posting, but I really wanted to at least “briefly” talk about something…

I found out tonight that the wife of a couple I knew back home has been cheating on him for 1.5 to 2 years.  They’ve been married probably 15 years; they have kids; I’ve never heard him speak of his wife in anything less than glowing terms.  The thing is… that’s a lifestyle.  That’s a conscious decision everyday to live a double life.

How do people do that?

I talked about it a bit with some friends tonight over drinks.  I have enough fears about marriage as it is (having grown up with more bad examples than good), and while I feel like I’m getting closer to truly believing a healthy marriage is possible (instead of just hoping it is), things like this scare me.

But I realized something tonight.  Something I knew, but don’t articulate, even to myself.  When I look at marriages and consider how they’ve fallen, I often blame it on communication.  I think this is true, but the problem is deeper, and oddly, although I’ve seen and identified this reason with why a marriage might not improve, I don’t know that I’ve pinpointed it as the cause of its problems (although I should have).

It was pointed out to me that the reason a marriage starts going bad, any relationship really, is that each person’s relationship with Christ isn’t where it should be.

It is so vitally important to be right with God, to have Him be your foundation and rock…  And this is true for every part of life, not just relationships.  The friend who pointed out the above statement has a good habit of bringing God into the equation, where I have tended to just assume His presence.  I can’t tell you how much I’ve appreciated that, how much I’ve realized I need to be more explicit about my walk with God, my interactions, my daily need for Christ.  I take too much for granted, even in how I articulate things about my faith.  I want to make Him more of my normal conversation, more than He is.

I don’t want to take God for granted. Ever.