Something about the late hour (9pm can be considered late if your body hasn’t let you sleep for the last week) combined with tiredness makes me feel as if it is a good time to talk about personal things.

I have been in love only once.  And it went so poorly that I decided to never be in love again.  But in the last six months or so, I’ve begun to recognize that the ability is within me.  And even the desire to allow it.  Benefits outweigh risks.  And that doesn’t even make mention of the emotional healthiness to allowing oneself to have a full range of emotions.  I am not saying that I am currently in love.  That is not a term or an idea that I would use lightly.  I am merely saying that I am capable of being in love.  (I suppose that this is true of most everybody.)

However, recognizing my capacity for love does not necessarily matter much at this point in my singleness.  Except in the realm of increasing my capacity for love of others, not of the romantic sort, but which is probably tied to the same vulnerability that would allow a romantic love.  And then there’s the whole command to love others, as Christ loved us.  (I think that’s in the Bible? I’m not that confused, am I?)  I’m not great at that.  But I’m trying.

I was told the this the other day: “Love risks. Nobody is safe. Everyone is dangerous. Invest anyway.”  (Great words of wisdom.)

Baby steps?

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