I had such a strong desire today to sell my car, buy a truck, load my stuff and just drive until I found a place I felt like stopping.  I had to actually talk myself out of it.

But this will be my new dream, the one that will help me survive until May, or September or December…

It must be my current workload that is making my loneliness feel overwhelming. I, ridiculously and pathetically, cried about an hour last night before bed; I felt that lonely.  I’m sure it’s mostly my own doing: being too busy with schoolwork to really invest in those around me.  But I also do feel as if my previous claim is legitimate (that I have tried; it’s just not reciprocal).  And I suppose that I am a little gun shy after last year.

Although, one friend got in touch today to suggest that I not buy a truck and start driving, but instead work on “connecting,” as he put it.  Another friend reminded me that driving to a completely new place won’t solve my current dilemma (lack of friendship).  But those friends aren’t here.  And there’s something nice about the idea of a new start, a new place.

However, instead of running away, I am making red potato soup and working on my Greek translation.  Such is my life.

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