Do you read into things?  See signs where they may or may not be?  I do.  I think it’s how I base my life decisions, to be honest.

Right now I’m reconsidering Ecuador.  Let me preface this by saying that in no way do I not want to go to Ecuador.  Rather, I am questioning the timing.

I am tired of academia.  You have heard this from me before.  Jumping into an intense certificate program, then into teaching English (which I have no actual desire for) is just more of the same, in a different flavor.

I need counseling, and am about to start looking for a counselor.  If I go to Ecuador, I wouldn’t be able to continue, due to the language barrier.  Plus, instead of being able to focus on getting healthy, I’d be bombarded by a new culture, a new language, new everything, every day.

Leaving would drain me of my resources, which means that when I came back, I’d be worse off than I am now, financially.  Plus I’d have the burden (job-search-wise) of being gone for so long.  (My friends who have done this can attest to the difficulty it can create.)  I’m ready to settle into a job, find a place to live, be an adult.  I want a job that I leave at the end of the day.  I want free time.

I have been offered a job (contingent upon my background check coming back clean, which is no problem).  It’s only 12-20 hours a week, and lasts through December.   That is a perfect amount and time-line for writing my thesis.  However, it is woefully inadequate if I want to move to Ecuador.  Although, I’m not sure I’m capable of writing my thesis if I’m working full-time…

If I stay, I could get a truck.  And maybe a puppy.  And I could look into moving to the Midwest.  Or stay in this area.  Either way, so long as I had my own place and a real job–post thesis.

I haven’t really made a decision yet, but I’m considering.

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