You are currently browsing the monthly archive for November 2012.

Thesis

I have sent off my thesis to Staples to be printed and picked up tomorrow.  Four copies: one for me, three for them.  I’ll also mail it tomorrow.  I am so close, folks!

Kittens

My Sophie kitten is an emotional eater, but when she’s happy.  She starts purring, feeling good, then goes to eat, all the while purring away.

My dad calls Shelby “Sheba” because he says she’s the “queen cat.”  It’s true.  She is.  The thing is, the other two kittens don’t seem to care…  I mean, Shelby tells them what-for all the time.  They’re just sort of indifferent.  So, it’s like she’s asserting herself all the time, letting them know she’s the top cat, and they’re just basically unaware.  It’s funny.

Online Dating

Okay, really, men?  You’re going to send me a message that says something along the lines of “you’re pretty, let’s go out” or “you’re hot, I’m a nice guy, let’s chat.” ???  And you think that will entice me to write you back?  I ignore those messages, every time.  I can’t even find it within myself to feel flattered because I’m fairly certain it’s a message you send to everyone, and really, it’s insulting.  Write something that proves you’ve read my profile.  Write something that gives me a reason to take the time to write back.

Although, I can only go on multiple dates with one person at a time.  So, in theory, I could go on a bunch of first dates with multiple men.  But once I start going on more than one date with a person, I wouldn’t be able to do first dates anymore, unless I stopped going on dates with the one person.  (Wow, syntactically that was a confusing sentence, yes?)  I’d love to be the person who goes on dates with multiple men, but it’s just not in me.

Random

I might get to see one of my Canadian friends today!!  He’s driving through and the plan is for us to get together when he’s passing by.

I went to church last night.  The new pastor is… interesting.  I’m trying to decide if I should just stick it out until I know where I’m going to live, or find a new church now with the knowledge that I might have to change if I move.  Ugh.

Have a great day, everyone.

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Do you know there are people out there who still haven’t seen V for Vendetta?  What a travesty.

I recently purchased a pair of boots with my friend, S, who purchased the same pair…  We’re boot twins.  I am going to wear them soon, because they are too cute to not wear soon.  And look!  Pom-poms, which are guaranteed to drive my kittens wild.

I’ve been sitting, staring at this screen for 10 minutes already.

A list of things I want to do in the area in which I live (NOT in any order of preference):

1. Go to my favourite pub, have beer & fries, maybe get a group together for trivia night.  (For real, I have fantasized about those fries.)
2. Visit my favourite beach.
3. Find a good Indian restaurant and remember to order Butter Chicken (so good) instead of Tandoori (which I can make myself).
4. Play on playgrounds (need better weather for this one).
5. Wish there were a cheap theatre like in Portland.
6. Visit my favourite antique shops.
7. Eat more crepes. (I love the place where I get them.)
8. Go dancing?  I’m not sure I even want to anymore… So… maybe.  But maybe not.
9. Find a job. (Wait a minute… how’d that find it’s way on here?)
10. Visit all the museums/houses/centers that my heart desires.

Okay, getting 10 was stretching it, but I like to have even amounts of things…  And making this list makes me wonder what I ever did with myself in times past.  I imagine it was a lot more of just random stuff.  Or I was just as boring then as I am now? ha ha

When my thesis is done, and I have a job, then I’ll be a real person again.  Right?

 

[Update: I would like to point out that my comforter is tucked in under the mattress in the above picture because otherwise the kittens burrow up under it and into my bed. Not because that’s how I would normally make my bed.]

I got back the edit from my adviser!!!!!

This means I can actually finish up the “final” draft of my paper.  Then I can do the oral defense and, if necessary, do the final-final draft of the thesis.  THEN I’M DONE!!!

Thus and therefore, after lunch, I am heading to Starbucks where I will hopefully finish up the edits today.

Let’s all heave a big sigh of relief: The end is nigh.

I am jealous of the writers that write best-sellers with their first novel.  I am jealous of their talent, their creativity, their perseverance, their luck.  I should discipline myself to write every day, to be persistent, to work on creating the ideas that I have never put down to paper.

Today I am convinced that I should have completed my Nursing education…  If not the first time, then instead of going to seminary, when I re-considered beginning the program again.  I could be gainfully employed right now.  I might not love it, but will I love any job I take at this point?  Besides, I could have taken my skills overseas, and that would have made it worth it.

I am obsessing and worrying over things that I have no good reason to obsess or worry.

I need to go back to church.  Regardless of how hard it will be.  I need to start this coming Sunday, no excuses.  I’ll just go back to my old church and suck it up.  It’ll get easier every time I go.  (I even just wrote it in my planner, which as you should  know, means it will happen.)  I suppose, along these lines, that I need to start reading my Bible again.  I’ve let my discipline lapse in my emotional quagmire, but how will I ever fully get out of it unless I’m actively pursuing Christ?

If you’re of the praying sort, keep my job search in your prayers.

I was thinking about this blog o’ mine.  And really, there are two groups who could read it with zero consequence to me: either complete strangers who have no idea who I am, or friends who know me well (or well enough).  That third group, the one comprised of folks who barely know me or just met me, might not be able to navigate all the murky posts and connect them properly to reality.

For complete strangers, it matters not.  I am whoever they imagine me to be, whoever my writing makes me into.  For friends, they know me well enough to fill in the blanks or to tell when I’m being honest with myself.  Maybe that is why I  don’t “advertise” my blog.  It’s out there, connected to a couple of my social media sites.  But I don’t encourage people to read it.  Not to say that I don’t enjoy it when people do…

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Today was an encouraging day.  Surprisingly encouraging.  And I think that regardless, I can take today and be encouraged.  I am still worried about  my near-belief that “often winners turn out to be losers.”  But I went out for coffee with a guy who seemed normal.  And not just that, but nice.  And not just nice, but a gentleman.  And a gentleman who also apparently thinks women are people, too.  Who is intelligent and educated.  Who is a Baptist, but not insane (I am somewhat prejudiced, probably unfairly, against Baptists).  Who seems to have his life more or less together.

Of course, I am highly suspicious.  There must be something I’ve missed, some fatal flaw…  Those tend to show up pretty quickly, though, and you know I’ll be watching…  (I suppose his fatal flaw could turn out to not be interested if I am.  That would be ironic.)

The few dates I go on are with such unfortunate fellows that I don’t know what to do with one that seems, I must say it again, normal.  I think I can say with a clear mind that I am looking forward to seeing him again.  I, for the first time in who knows how long, actually thought over the date afterwards and worried about if I said the wrong thing or something stupid or…  I usually couldn’t care less.  This is weird.

But, like I always remind you readers, don’t expect updates, and don’t expect anything.

I have really vivid, involved dreams.  Last night’s was weird…  I was at a center that was for women who had been abused, and in the basement of this center were cats.  Like, 100 cats or something, in all stages of life.  I’m not really sure what that says about me…

I finally got my employee number for my new job.  Now I’m just waiting (eagerly?) for my supervisor to call me in for training.  My worst working nightmare is coming true: working retail on Black Friday.

On Monday, I’m starting a 30 Day Fitness Challenge with one of my friends.  We have to confess to each other if we skip a day.  I hope this gets me on a good schedule again.  I swear, I’m just getting fatter and fatter.  That 30 lbs I wanted to lose before I was 30?  Still there.  Ugh!

And in the spirit of trying to make my blog not only about things like jobs, kittens, and the thesis:

Whenever I agree to go on dates with men, I always wonder if I am merely setting them up for failure.  Am I incapable of having relationships with men that aren’t purely platonic?  Do I actually want to live a single life?  I don’t think any of my friends believe I want to be single ultimately.  Sometimes I think I do, for all the reasons stated previously.

But then I also think about going through life alone, just me and the kittens…  The world isn’t built for single people.  And the Christian world most definitely is not.  And then I read all these money articles that tell me that I’m going to live in poverty because I’m single and a woman.  But these are practical reasons for relationships–although, in the end, what other reasons are there, but practical ones?  Do people really simply get married because they can’t imagine living without the other person?  I can’t imagine that.  Probably because I would always be able to live without someone…  I am selfish and self-reliant enough to enjoy living by myself.

Time will tell.

One of the struggles I have with living at home with my family again (other than the ones you expect) is that I am environmentally conscious and my family, most definitely, is not.

This comes out in a variety of ways, such as refusing to compost, using too many plastic bags, and the family using paper plates/bowls, when we have real plates/bowls that can be washed and re-used.  Convenience reigns supreme for my family, and I just want us to be a little more aware of our impact on the earth.  However, any attempt at this is met with extreme resistance.

Why is this?  It’s the same resistance that meets my attempts at healthy eating in this house.

I’ve never fit in well with my family, and the older I get, the truer this becomes.  Let us all hope I can find a real job quickly.

So far, I think I’m the oldest person at my new job (not that I’ve started yet).  Granted, I look young, so I have that going for me.  My manager looks no older than 25.  I know for a fact that one of the new hires is still in high school as he had to get a work permit signed.  And no one else there looks older than mid-20’s.

Awkward moment of the night: I had to go in to verify my I9 documents.  Another guy who showed up the same time as me was friends with one of the supervisors, so they were talking a bit.  The supervisor introduced himself, then asked if I was going to work the floor.  I said I didn’t know.  So he asked the manager, “You going to have her on the A-team?  I bet you are.”  There was something in how he said it and how the manager responded (with an awkward pause and a half-sheepish expression, for lack of better description).  Cue the involuntary blush.  As the supervisor left he said something about how his team is still better.  He must work the back.

I don’t think I did that story justice.  But so long as I keep it anonymous on here, I should be able to blog funny bits from work, right?

I should consider not revealing my true age to my co-workers, to let them assume instead.  Too bad I’m still 60 on the inside.  Maybe I can channel my inner (and, so far, hidden) young adult, who is at least aware of fashion and knows what having fun looks like when you’re in your 20’s.  Maybe if I talk a lot about going out dancing…

As I interviewed for a minimum wage job alongside a 17 year old high-school student, I had to remind myself that just because I’m 30 and getting my master’s, doesn’t mean that I’m too good to work seasonal retail.

That said, I accepted the position, to start in the near future.

I got a cat tree today, and it is fantastic.  Easy to set up, sturdy, and I think the kittens like it.  Plus, it will still be big enough for them when they’re adult kittens.

I still need a real job.  Help!

I just got an interview scheduled for another seasonal position.  I applied months ago, so it was a surprise.  But it sounds like folks have quit or whatnot, so they’re in a bind.  I guess being second pickings isn’t too bad.  I think, if the details sound agreeable, I’ll take it.  I’d rather make money than not, and at this point, I don’t have too many hours of thesis left.  So why not make a few bucks while looking for a real job, right?  I mean, I’ll have the worst schedule ever, at their mercy, working holidays (perhaps), Black Friday (someone save me), and so on, but… what else do I have to use my time?

I hate that money is such a huge factor in my life.  I don’t feel like I need a lot.  But having none does seem to put me in a bind.

I am job hunting for a real job.  But I want to move out of state, so it’s a bit harder.  And I imagine the interviewing process would/will be harder, too (if I ever get an interview).  I’d have to convince them to use skype or the phone, because no way am I taking trips to interview for positions I may not even get.  For jobs that aren’t worth that kind of expense.

See?  Money again.  Gah.

Someone, find me a job in Boise, ID (or area), okay?  Because that’s where I want to move.