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So we all know that you tend to feel pretty low when you’re job hunting.  The countless resumes sent, which either receive no response, or the automated rejection email, telling you they’ve chosen someone else.  But if you’re like me, each of those resumes and cover letters was sent with effort, with thought, with hope.

Then you find something promising, and you’re rejected.  Time and time again.  Your self-esteem has pretty much plummeted to the deepest depths.  And then perhaps you find another promising job, maybe it’s one you found through–da, da, dum–networking.  Oh, the magical networking, which is supposed to solve all your job woes.  But the wait after the interview can be worse than any other.  Because while you’re waiting to hear back, the following thought process will be going through your head: If I am rejected, and can’t even get a job with people who know and like me, what are the chances of me ever getting a job from a stranger?  I’m going to be unemployed forever!

This is not true, but you will feel like it is.

And if you find yourself in that waiting place, like me, just keep reminding yourself that you will eventually find a job.  If not this one, then someday, somehow, you will sucker amaze someone into hiring you.

Right?

I was offered a job in Montana, working as a housekeeper at a small Super 8 in the middle of nowhere, near Yellowstone, but 1.5-2 hours away from a grocery store.  They would give me a cabin of my own.  I was sorely tempted to say, “Yes! I’ll be on my way,” but I was reminded that I really need to get a job that has potential for movement.  Because apparently you can’t be a housekeeper your whole life: eventually you get too old, and then what do you do?  (Duh, live on the streets. Listen, I read the articles.  I already know that as a single woman, my chances of being in poverty when I get older are much higher than anyone else’s.  Accept your fate!)

So I’m back to looking for legitimate jobs.  I’ve been applying here, but also in a few warm places, like Albuquerque and Phoenix.  I did have a promising interview last week for a job here that I’d really like to have, but I won’t know if they want to continue on the next round with me until Wednesday.  So I’m really trying to not hope, because if it doesn’t work out, I don’t want to be terribly disappointed.

My biggest concern is my lack of skill with Excel. I know the basics, but…  Through a little Google searching, I found out that Microsoft offers free online training for their products.  My plan is to start going through their training programs, so I can fill in any gaps I might have.  Maybe that will help my confidence.

Finding a job is hard work.

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*I found a blog with euphemisms for being out of work and thought I should try one out.

I just finished week three of Atkins.  And now I’m starting Phase Two, which is exciting because I get to add new foods and more carbs.  I’m still feeling great, still enjoying it.  If nothing else, it’s been a lot of fun trying out new recipes and new ways to eat food.  For example, a lettuce wrapped burger is delicious (who knew?), and you really don’t need dressing in your salad if you’ve made it well enough.

I’m also finding tons of great Atkins-approved recipes, for example: Flaxseed Muffins, Creamy Mushroom Soup, Roasted Red Pepper Cream Soup, Flourless Chocolate Cookies, and Zucchini Pancakes.  Yes, it’s true, none of those are linked to anything.  The first three are on Atkins, the last one is from allrecipes, and the cookie one I can’t remember where I got.  I’ve adjusted almost all of them, though, so if one sounds good and you want the recipe, let me know.

In other news, please, find me a job.  Somewhere sunny and warm, I think.  Thanks!

I want to know why so many of us are still afraid of and/or in disdain of feminists.  Why are our adjectives so negative?  “Angry feminists” or “militant feminists,” neither have good connotations, and those are just two that come immediately to mind.

If these feminists are angry, perhaps it is for a good reason?  Have you read their works?  Almost every feminist book I have read starts with a personal story (or two) of hurt, betrayal, abuse, etc. by men in their lives: husbands, fathers, spiritual leaders and so on.  These stories are often heart-wrenching.

Yet when we look at feminists (i.e. women who are brave and strong enough to stand up, tell their story, and insist that the wrongs are righted), we judge them, we malign them, we have no sympathy or empathy for the real hurts they have experienced.  We insist that in the US things are pretty damn good for women: women can vote, they can wear pants, they can get jobs, they can stay single.  So obviously, equality has arrived, feminism is passé.

But… what about the wage gap?  What about the many jobs that are denied to women, either overtly or covertly?  What about the societal pressure for women to be married, the stigma that comes along with a single woman that rarely is given to a single man?  What about all the ways, big and small, that women are still regarded as property or objects to be bought and sold?  What about rape culture?  What about the fact that so many men only see women as walking vaginas?

We’re not equal.  Justice has yet to occur.  Feminism is still needed, but not just by women.  We need men to stand alongside us, to affirm our equality, to not be threatened by women.  If men lose the place they’ve held so long in society, the understanding should be that their place was ill-got and unjustly held.  There was never supposed to be a hierarchy.  But in every way possible, society upholds the false dichotomy between women and men.

Come on, folks.  Let’s get over ourselves. 

[I wish wordpress would warn me when they change the format of the behind the scenes stuff. It always throws me for a loop. At least facebook provides a tour when they change everything.]

I’ve been busy crossing off items on my to-do list.  These last few days have been sewing.  On Saturday I sewed a retro bib-style apron, complete with homemade “bias” tape edging (wasn’t on the bias, but worked perfectly anyway).  Then yesterday I made two delightfully kick-ass regency aprons, with unbleached muslin, beautiful tucks and fantastic pleats.  Think Jane Austen’s Sense & Sensibility with Emma Thompson.  One is for me; one is for a friend who had requested said apron.  (I stole the idea for the bib style from this site.)

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The apron isn’t lopsided. I’m just wearing it crooked. I promise.

And a couple pictures of kittens. The first is my Sophie-kitten who loves hoarding things and managed to empty my entire box of Kleenex the other day.  She’s under my dresser, laying on top of part of her stash.  The second is all three kittens, Sophie, Percy (my sister’s cat), and Shelby, lying in typical nap positions.

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And finally, Atkins is going really well.  It’s been a week and a couple days and I actually really like it.  I feel so full, and I’ve kept easily within the carb limits.  I am looking forward to adding back in beans and legumes next week, though.  The first week I lost 6 lbs total.  We’ll see how I do this week and on.  After the first two weeks, you don’t lose as much so quickly, but that’s better for long term.

Do I completely and entirely lack the gumption and nerve for adventure?

I constantly dream of and long for adventure, yet when the opportunities look like they are nigh, fear sets in.  Maybe that is normal.  Maybe when confronted with the unknown, we are all afraid.  But I tend to talk myself out of these chances because of my fear.  I come up with all the reasons why it would be too hard or too impractical and I never do anything.

I’m looking into going to South Korea to teach English.  If it works out, it would be a huge step for me.  The biggest hindrance would be if I couldn’t get my FBI background check back in time to get a VISA.  The biggest concern I have is my kittens, who I would definitely bring with me.  But I worry about getting them there, about sharing a studio apartment with them, about if I could find good-quality kitty food, etc.

I’ve had a lot of feedback from emails I’ve sent already, which could be promising or not.

And if the timeline doesn’t work now, I could go in August.  I just worry that I’ll talk myself out of it if I wait that long.  Or perhaps instead of talking myself out of it, I would simply become more prepared.  I would find some job here and work while I waited, since I am going to need income pretty soon.

Time will tell.