I finally realized what my litmus test is for churches: life groups/bible studies offered.

I truly believe that you can tell what a church considers important by what groups they define as important.

Pretty much every one ever offers a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University course (he will teach you how to get out of debt for only $110–but I can tell you for free: learn how to budget and stop spending money).  Incidentally, I’m starting to think that FPU is a Christian cult.  Seriously.

They also seem to have some sort of Alpha/new believers/get to know our church class.  Which isn’t a bad thing, but I’m going to be straight with you: after both Bible College and Seminary, I do not need to attend this class.  I promise.

And then there’s the token women’s group, usually toted to be all about “what matters to women.”  Like getting married and having babies.  Maybe shopping if we’re having a relaxed moment.

And let’s not forget the sexual purity class for men.  Because only men need to work at sexual purity, and this is the only thing men care to learn about.

And there’s the marriage class or two.  And the parenting class.

But these are lacking.  And many of them demeaning.

I am more than my vagina.  Men are more than their penises.  I am not married nor do I have children nor do I particularly care that I have neither.  I could kick Dave Ramsey’s ass when it comes to budgets.

So what is there for me or for most normal folk?  Folk who don’t want to be defined by their gender or by their role as a spouse or parent, but by the fact that they are human beings, Christians?  What about the class that is devoted to helping each other grow to be more like Christ?  To learn his love and to learn to show his love?  Where are those classes?

This is why I can’t find a church.  They don’t want me.