I haven’t blogged in awhile.  I haven’t had anything to say.  Or I have, but I’ve only thought of it as I lay in bed, waiting to fall asleep.

One of my co-workers told me today that one of the things they love about me that I am so honest about who I am.  This was in reference to my assertion that of of my favourite parts of the week is going grocery shopping early Saturday morning.  I was saying how I start getting excited on Friday, anticipating my opportunity to go to the store, so I make meal plans and “clip” coupons…  The sad thing is how true it is and how little I care that it’s true.  But at least someone gets a kick out of it?  Apparently most people wouldn’t admit to something like this.  But I maintain that most people simply wouldn’t be excited about it.

Besides, I’m the person who gets in bed at 8pm on work nights.  Getting excited about the grocery is only one of my many ridiculous traits.

And furthermore, is it really true that most people aren’t honest about who they are?  I am not saying I am always upfront about everything, but I believe very strongly in being true to yourself.  And you know, even if I don’t always like who I am, I’m okay with who I am.  I mean, except for those moments when I hate who I am.  But I still think that’s my personal right and the rest of you can suck it.

This isn’t coming out quite how I imagined.

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So the whole dating thing…  having a relationship thing…  I just don’t think I can do it in truth.  I think I have too many issues with men, too little trust, and too little desire to ever trust them.  It is good that I like being alone.  Because I just don’t see how I could be with a man.  (Can I just give an aside again of how very angry I still am at men?  Those men, the ones I’ve blogged about.   Like… over the top angry.)

Anyway.  I was back on a dating site–you know how I love them–but I had to disable my account again.  Too many stupid men bugging me.  And always, only, the really needy men.  Like the ones who talk about letting me share their netflix account the first time we meet (as if I’d want to).  What is it about me that attracts needy men?  Good gracious.

Besides, my cats (Sophie in particular) are afraid of men.  So I’m not sure how that would work out anyway.

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Speaking previously of work, it’s going okay.  I know I’m a bit of an emotional roller coaster about my job, but it really is okay overall.  I think the roller coaster is just me.  But this month has been crazy busy, so I won’t be sad to see it gone, if I can actually manage to finish all my projects by the end.  I’m glad I like most of my co-workers, most of the time.  (I am an introvert, so it’s ridiculous to assume that I would always be glad to be around them.)

I’d better end now before this post gets worse.

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