I have been enjoying watching a friend fall in love with his first boyfriend.  It is delightful and surprising and beautiful.

It has made me painfully aware, however, that I have never been as transparent or vulnerable with a significant other as my friend is able to be.  I want that for myself, but I’ve never been able, or at least, never been willing.  I’m not sure which.

I want that sort of heedlessness for myself.  I want to be able to run headlong into love without holding back.

Maybe someday.

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