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So I’m finally actually job hunting.  I even asked a few co-workers (and my supervisor) if they’d be references for me.  But it’s not going to be easy going.  I think this is mostly due to a few things: 1. I am already working full-time, so finding the time/energy for job applications isn’t easy.  2. I like where I work, so I am not eager to leave.  3. I don’t think I deserve a better job (for some reason), so I find it hard to “dream big” and extend myself past the obvious.

In other news, my salary is going up on July 1st, so even if it takes awhile to find a new job, I will be able to afford a rent increase (if one comes my way).  Thank goodness.  They decided that since my position is now responsible for two branches instead of one (from when we merged last August), it should get an upgrade.  My supervisor actually told me to ask for a raise months ago, but I never did, so I am sure this is his doing.  And trust me, I am grateful.

Oh, my annual review is today, also.  I know my supervisor likes me, but I am painfully aware of my own weaknesses/mistakes, so I am not looking forward to that part.  However, I, like everyone else, am a work in progress.  So I will do my best to not take any potential criticism to heart, but to merely continue to work to improve myself.  Right?  Sigh.

This is a little embarrassing to admit, but this is the longest I’ve been at one place.  Unless you count the assisted living complex I worked at from August 2001-December 2002.  Only I took off the summer (June-August) to work at the ranch.  But I was only working two evenings a week while I was in school, so it’s quite different.  I like the consistency of being at one place.  I like knowing that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you can still learn and grow.  (More reasons I’d like to stay where I am, just in a different position.  I am so tired of answering the phones.  And being “on” all the time.  I need a job that doesn’t make me “happily” interact with people all day long.)

Well, I’ll let you know when I find my new golden opportunity.  (And likely the frustrating journey that will get me there.)

Did I tell you I’m (once again) giving up on church?  Seriously.  There isn’t any out there for me to attend.  Not in the area.  Not that aren’t bat-shit-crazy or just plain awful.  I suppose I should feel guilty about it, but I really don’t.  Who cares, right?

I’m also (once again) giving up on online dating.  I just can’t do it.  Nothing in me wants to go on first dates.  And I hate the contrived attempts at getting to know someone.  Plus, let’s be honest, most of the men online are just idiots.  (No, really. Try online dating sometime, and I think you’ll end up agreeing.  Note that I said “most,” not “all.”)

I am somewhat feuding with my upstairs neighbor (and her rotten kid), plus with a co-worker.  I suppose I am just an angry person.  But what I don’t understand is why anyone feels the need to question the status quo?  Now, the upstairs neighbor is not trying to make me like her (no, far from it), but the co-worker wants to know why I just can’t be nice to her.

Okay, that is partially a fair request.  I should at least contrive to be nice to her insofar as we must interact.  She’s just so stupid most of the time.  And she drives a Hummer.  Because she hates the earth, apparently.  And she called me a crazy cat lady once–we’re not friends, she doesn’t get to mock me.  I don’t call her a crazy kid lady, and she has four of them, whereas I only have two cats.  So unfair.

But, she’s right.  I should withhold my complete contempt–at least from her notice.  But my goodness, I have no intention of ever being her friend.

Why can’t I just be left alone?

Today I learned a lesson: Even if you’ve had good success with new hairstylists in the past, stick with your regular when you’re getting cuts that aren’t forgiving.

I now look like a five year old boy.

Or, as one of my friends encouraged, like Natalie Portman.

Natalie Portman

My hair is slightly longer than hers, but not by much. I bet I could copy that hairstyle; although, I have little intention of doing so.  The problem with this super short cut is that there’s no shape.  I could’ve cut it myself just like this using clippers.

I am sad; I am hungry (off-topic, but true); I am disappointed at how vain I truly am.

This much is true: No dates  for me until my hair grows out a bit!  Hope those fellows online just want to keep chatting for awhile… haha