So I’ve been doing some thinking about church.

I’ve decided that I have to put forth a real effort to find one, and to actively engage with my faith.  The first part will mean that I try a new church every weekend (unless honest-to-goodness circumstances prevail).  The second part will mean that I get back into a habit of reading my bible and praying.  Even when I don’t feel like it.  (Which is always, lately.)

I just don’t believe that faith is something you do when you feel like it or when the notion strikes.  It’s a real, every day thing.  And I believe it wholeheartedly.  So why am I so unwilling?

I would still maintain that I have good reasons to sort of check-out.  But even if the reasons are good, they’re not good enough.  Right?  This doesn’t mean that I throw myself into a church with blinders on (heavens, no), but I have to try to get back to a healthy place, at least.

It sounds like so much work.  I remember when these things weren’t work, but delight.  I want them to be delight again.

While I know that I solely am responsible for my actions, I still hate that it has been my fellow (so-called) Christians that have brought me to this place.

Here’s to hoping.

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