A few things to note.

I’ve noticed that ever since I started wearing men’s clothing, I feel more feminine than I ever did wearing women’s clothing, including dresses.  I don’t know if it’s that I’m finally comfortable and can feel like myself, or if it’s that the physical hallmarks of femininity feel more pronounced in typical men’s clothes.  Or something else entirely.  But it’s yet another thing that has taken me by surprise.

I think I’ve decided to take a break from dating, or at least, from putting effort into dating.  I’ve left my profiles up, so anyone is welcome to contact me.  But I’m not going to try to set up dates for awhile.  Don’t get me wrong; I haven’t all of a sudden decided that I don’t like dating women (is that even possible?!).  But with the new job, old friends, and new friends, I am tired.  I just don’t have the energy to keep meeting new people right now, especially when so many of them have been exhibiting a distinct lack of chemistry.  (Oh, lands, the date I went on last weekend… Ugh!  So much potential, yet so little fulfillment.)

Plus, I have other motives for not wanting to date right now, but none of them are motives I should allow to exist.  I feel like I’m playing with fire, knowingly, yet slightly beyond my control to step back.

I’m feeling nostalgic tonight for things I’ve never yet had.

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