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From the group description for ‘Appreciating Bois, Butches, and Trans Men,’ on Fetlife:

“Traditionally, ‘transmasculine’ has referred to male traits in female-bodied people — or, more properly, people who were ‘assigned female at birth’ (AFAB). ‘Bois’, ‘Butches’, and ‘Trans men’ are types of transmasculine people; each term has its own set of cultural implications and definitions.”

I liked that description when I saw it because it really does encapsulate the basic idea that I’m trying to capture.  It is, of course, one person’s definition, but I think it is a good, albeit very bare bones, definition.

I have been listening to the song below on repeat.  It is beautiful, and it speaks to me in all the ways I cannot articulate.

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Last week was pretty much awful.

I’m not going to talk about Orlando because I don’t have the words.  It is a horrible, horrible thing that happened.  I’m, we’re, still reeling.

To top that off, I had a fight with my parents–which made for an extra emotional few days.  But, in actuality, I think that helped.  I’ve been so careful this last year to not bring up being gay around them, to try to be sensitive to the fact that they don’t know what to do with it.  But, I was holding it against them and getting increasingly frustrated.  So now things are a bit more open and while they’re still not happy, I at least feel like I can acknowledge my queerness around them.  It’s a start.

—-

It’s June.  It’s Pride month.  And my city’s Pride is coming up.  I’m planning on bringing my oldest niece to the parade. She wants to come, and I think it’d be good for her to do so.  My brother (her dad) seemingly only had one concern–nudity, to which I assured him that there is virtually none (thanks to the commercialization of Pride, but I’m actually not complaining because I’m not a huge fan of public nudity in general).  Anyway, I think it will be a good experience, and I’m looking forward to the chance to talk to her more.  Last I knew, she was more or less questioning her sexuality, but I’m not sure where she is on that currently.

It’s also almost my birthday.  I’ll be 34 this month–crazy!  Time goes so quickly.  I’m also starting that Python course this week, which means I have to get serious about doing coursework.  What with Pride and my birthday this weekend, I guess I’m going to have to get the first module and assignment completed early, boo.

Well, my Sophie-cat is giving me a death glare, which I interpret to mean “bedtime.”  It may be the summer solstice (and a strawberry moon!), but I’m still a grandma.

I have very exciting news.

I found a queer tattoo artist who is going to do my next tattoo.  Bonus points: she also loves Harry Potter.  My consultation is next Friday.  I’m not sure when the actual tattoo will happen.

Did I mention what my plan is for the next tattoo?  I want to get the Hogwarts crest with the Ravenclaw quadrant in color, but the rest in black.

If everything goes well with this artist, I’m going to have her help me design a half or three-quarter sleeve next.

I’m super excited that this is finally happening.

I went out for drinks last night with some of my friends/old co-workers.  It was a fucking blast.  We went to my favourite dive and just sat for hours.  I told way too many details about my dating life/sex life, though. For reals.  What the hell was I thinking?!  But I’m not going to repeat them here, so don’t get excited.

One of co-workers, who I’m not as good of friends with, is a straight chick who is kind of into me.  I feel weird saying that.  But, I’ve felt it ever since we started talking/hanging out.  She really wants to make out with me, which is apparently a thing some straight chicks like to do with lesbians?  Anyway, I’m not opposed to that, because women, but I’m not into her at all (straight and very femme).  Moreover, I certainly won’t be making that move!  In fact, I will probably avoid it, since I feel that’s the best course of action…

And she wanted to know why my queer friend (who is in a long-term, committed, monogamous relationship) and I had never made out.  We sort of just looked at each other and reiterated the relationship.  I mean, just because she’s queer and I’m gay doesn’t mean we’re going to fool around…  Is that really a perception?  So weird.

Not that I’m opposed to friends with benefits, but they have to be single friends. I mean, c’mon.  I’m totally the monogamous type.  I mean, I will be, once I settle down.  Which I have no timeline for.  I like to keep it open–who knows when I will meet the right woman?  In the meantime… bring them on.  The more the better.  (I feel like I am talking a bigger game than I can deliver at the moment.)

Also, talking with the best friend the other night, I said how I think I will be more of a sexual aggressor  instigator (not in a bad way, in the making moves/pursuing way) after I feel more comfortable with my skills in the lady sex department.  The best friend totally agrees.  I need to do more research in this department… Hands on research, that is… Ahem.

I’m so happy I’m finally dating ladies.  It’s amazing.